Ugh.

Last Thursday, I woke up with a severe migraine. I called in sick to work and took some Rizatriptan, which is usually my best friend. Unfortunately, it was too late for medication and I spent the entire day on the floor of my bathroom. It carried over into the next day and I wasn't able to function until around noon.

I think that the cause of this migraine had several variables.

1. I did not eat dinner the night before and instead snacked on some cured meats that my sister-in-law had ordered.

2. I had a drink and did not have any water.  I definitely need to drink more water! I know this and still do not drink enough water.  I should be drinking water now!

3. Wednesday night was a singles happy hour event, which was stressful/nerve-wracking.

4. After attending the singles event and not eating dinner, I received a stressful phone call from work. Seriously, administrative assistants should not have such a high level of work stress!  If I am an on-call admin assistant, I should be compensated for that! 

Anywho.  Last Thursday sucked.

A Teenager Made Me Cry

A few days ago, I went somewhere knowing that members of my ex-boyfriend's family would be there. I was just hoping that my ex-boyfriend would not be there. Some friends tried to talk me out of going, but I wanted to support my friend and her family. I knew that if I saw my ex, I would leave immediately to avoid any conflicts. The friend that I was showing up for has two teenage daughters. The younger daughter spotted me and waved, then came over to talk to me. What she said to me made me cry and laugh at the same time. She made me feel validated and supported, which was exactly what I needed. Teenagers. They are amazing and special people.

A heartbreaking loss of family

Sometimes I have sad days. Days when I think too much about my breakup and cry. I'm not crying over the guy who lied to me, cheated on me and broke my heart. I am crying because I feel such an incredible loss of family. A loss of all of his aunts, uncles and cousins that I had considered family for the past seven years. I cry because they have so easily replaced me with this new woman and welcomed her into their lives. I cry because it feels like I was never a part of their family and it is such a devastating realization. More than anything, though, I am crying over the kid that has been ripped out of my life. The boy that will turn 12 this year and was just coming out of his shell as a smart and funny little man. I cry because I am thinking of all of the mistakes I have made in the seven years that I was his stepmom. I cry because I am worried about his future. I cry because I miss him. Today was a sad day.

Migraines, part one

Migraines come from my mother's side of the family. My aunts had migraines, my mother had migraines, my sister had migraines, my cousins get migraines, I get migraines. I started getting migraines in my teens but they have gotten progressively worse as I hit my twenties and thirties. A few years ago, I started taking Maxalt when a migraine would come on. I wish that I had known about this earlier, since taking Maxalt is so much better than the alternative. The alternative being me, face-down in my bed with ice packs on my head and vomiting whenever I moved any part of my body. Sometimes I would just pass out on the bathroom floor because the coldness of the tiles felt so good. I would be out of commission for roughly 24 hours until the pain subsided. I am so glad that I am able to talk to my primary care physician about my migraines and we can work on a plan of treatment to reduce the amount of migraines that I get. My primary care physician sent me to a neurologist, who put me on an elimination diet. Through the elimination diet, I found that I can get a migraine from eating (among other things...)cheeses, cheese-flavored breads/crackers, chocolate, hot dogs, and drinking wine. The neurologist also has me taking some vitamins & mineral supplements. At my follow-up neurologist appointment, I was told that I was now a "smart migrainer". I now know what foods will give me a migraine and what my migraine triggers are: stress, my menstrual cycle, not drinking enough water, summer heat/sun and sometimes rainy weather. Migraines suck.

I never wanted to be on COPS...

The Friday after the big announcement, I was at the house.  I had a plan to pack up my things and get everything out of the house by Monday.  He came home to drop off his son with me while he drove his mistress home.  (She was waiting in the car).  He told me that he would be right back and I said "Whatever."  He asked me what my problem was and I replied, "Look, if you have to drive your girlfriend home, just go!"  He left the house and then walked back in to ask me what my problem was.  He left again, but was really angry when he came home.  I was giving him an attitude and he didn't like it. 
He started freaking out and screaming at me.  He said that he would not put up with me giving him an attitude in his own house.  He told me to get out of his house or he would have me evicted.  When I would not leave, he threatened to call his girlfriend and have her come back over to the house.  I picked up my own cell phone and told him to go right ahead and make that call.  I was not giving in to his intimidation and threats, so he just followed me around, asking me who I was going to call.  Finally, I said "No one.  I'm going to bed."  I tried to shut the bedroom door, but he pushed it open and told me that I could not shut a door on him in his own house.  Then he freaked out even more and screamed at me to get out of his house.  I told him that I would be out by Monday, but that was not good enough and he continued yelling at me. 
I got into bed with my dogs and he screamed at me for a few more minutes before going out to his car.  After a little while, he came back inside and yelled "You just lost Noah, you bitch!"  I said, "What are you even talking about?"  He told me that I could not have a relationship with his son if I could not have a relationship with him.  I said, "Whatever" and closed my eyes until he went back outside.

I heard a police siren outside and I thought that he had called the police on me.  All I could think was, "I never wanted to be on Cops..."

The ER visit

I do get migraines, although I have them mostly under control at this point.  However, after I was told that my boyfriend had been cheating on me for a year, I was gifted with a severe migraine.  This migraine came on due to a combination of crying and screaming.  The pain would not let up after I tried to calm myself down and then I began vomiting.  I put a bag of ice on my head and tried to sleep, but the pain was too much.  I had to go to the ER and this guy, who had just broken my heart and was the direct cause of this migraine, had to drive me there.  On the way to the ER, he asked me what I was planning to say at the ER.  I said that I was going to tell them that I have a severe migraine.  He started saying that I should tell them that I was under severe stress and needed something to take for the stress. 

Now not only was I in severe pain, but I was concerned that he was trying to have me committed to the psych ward.  I was even more upset when he went over to the nurses station and proceeded to whisper something to the medical staff on duty.  When the doctor came in to check my vitals, he questioned me about the cause of my migraine and the stressful situation at home.  The doctor asked if I was really there due to stress.  I said, "I know that he thinks that's what this is, but he doesn't understand migraines."  The doctor replied, "Yeah, most people do not understand migraines."  I was just thinking, "Thank God.  I do not want to end up in the psych ward because of that asshole."

"You never told me you had an eating disorder!"

In the midst of the crying, yelling, devastating talk that we were having regarding his infidelity, I cried out "How could you do this to me?!"

His response was..."Well...you never told me that you had an eating disorder!"

Me, at the top of my lungs: "WHAT?!?"

"Come on, I know you had an eating disorder!"

"What are you talking about? I have NEVER had an eating disorder!"  Seriously.  He knew me since I was eighteen and the first time that my weight ever changed was after we were together for four years.

Him: "Then why were you so skinny before and now you are not?"

Me (still screaming): "I turned 30 and my metabolism slowed down, that's what happens. Look it up!" 

I mean, come on.  Is he a moron?