Remembering

The day that I left my ex-boyfriend's house was horribly, heart-wrenchingly sad.  I remember waking up and calling my sister to tell her that I needed more boxes.  I told her about the drama from the night before.  I couldn't leave the house because my ex-boyfriend's son was sleeping and I was the only one there with him. 

My brother and sister-in-law dropped off some plastic totes.  Then, my sister showed up with boxes and coffee.  I was told that we were packing everything up and getting everything out by that night.  I don't really remember much about the packing.  I remember shoving clothes into garbage bags and handing the bags to my sister-in-law.  I remember yelling at my sister when she told me that I needed to stop being nice to my ex.  I remember someone taking my two dogs to the car and hearing my ex-boyfriend's dog crying, almost screaming, because I was leaving him behind. 

I remember sitting in a car while my sister went inside a drug store to buy me a toothbrush.  I didn't know where my old one had ended up once everything was packed.  My sister came out with a new toothbrush, some fuzzy socks and an iced tea for me.  

I remember being so very sad and heartbroken.

I remember crying to my mom later that night and telling her that I just wanted to go "home".

I remember having nightmares and waking up to a feeling of crushing sadness. 

I remember feeling overwhelmed by the kindness of everyone who had a hand in getting me out of that house and into my new apartment the following Monday.  

Now, nine months later, I am so grateful to be where I ended up.

Thank you, family.

Migraines: My Chain of Doctors

My primary care physician sent me to a neurologist.  My neurologist sent me to a psychologist.  My psychologist is trying to teach me to help control my migraines using biofeedback.  We are currently working on breathing techniques.  We have also had regular therapy sessions, which I was not sure about at first.  After my third session with my therapist, I found that I really like her and talking with her makes me feel better about myself. 

Also, the breathing techniques really have helped to cut down on the amount of migraines I get.  My therapist explained that I should be breathing from my diaphragm and not my chest.  This is something that I need to practice daily and I have been working on it.  It just seems crazy that I have never heard about this before and that I have been breathing shallowly my whole life.  There should be a public service announcement, "Breathe from your diaphragm, not your chest!  Breathing from your diaphragm reduces stress!"  Something like that.  I told my therapist this and she laughed.

I love my therapist.  She makes me feel not crazy.